Monday, 10 March 2014

A fresh start.

The last couple of months I feel like I have been in a little bubble. 
Before Christmas it wasn't a good bubble. I felt really low. The lowest for a long time.  In spite of the fact that life was good. Then we hit January and in true new year style a lot change. Very quickly. 

We finally exchanged on the house (5 months in the making) and I finally resigned (1 year in the making).

Starting with the job the feeling was pure relief.  Never have I worked with such unprofessional,  immoral people.  I was at breaking point a number of times at the end of last year the reinforcement came from the shocked responses from my nearest and dearest over Christmas.  It made me remember that this is "not normal". I really needed that reminder. 

It was a bit of a knee jerk reaction to a bad day but boy did I feel better about it. So here I am a year later sat in the same coffee shop having taken another dent wondering what next? 

I am not fishing for sympathy or pity I am trying to address the areas in my life that have got me to making the same mistakes over and over again.

I am also having to address what is deemed to be normal behaviour.  I have spent a year working in an environment where people lie with complete ease. Where the truth is secondary to issue and no one bats an eye lid.

I have become accustomed to being a part of this and while never indulging in the lies, I have treated colleagues with contempt and spoken to them in disgust.

I am ashamed of how normal this has become but so pleased that I am in a position to walk away. That I have the support of Mr Happi who said a long time ago, "whenever your ready". He made it possible to make a decision without knowing what was next. 

The next chapter will be different to the last and hopefully better.

The next chapter will involve the house and the shifted focus. 
Somehow a blue sky makes it all seem a little better.