Monday, 25 February 2013

Getting the party started..

Tomorrow marks the start of something new.
In keeping with February being about new things, I start a new job (woop woop! Actually very excited)

So time for something new. Time to work hard and put the skills that I have learnt to the test.

I hope its fun.

Monday, 18 February 2013

Just my opinion.

I read Sasha Wilkins letter in Glamour magazine with expected excitement (I love her work) and crashed with bitter disappointment.

As a magazine, Glamour has disappointed more frequently over the last couple of yes rs.  As a previous subscriber, I moved away from the magazine due to the all consuming celebrity nature which I just didn't tick my boxes.  But every now and again, I find myself reading it and enjoying it.  This weekend however, I found myself getting annoyed.
Maybe its just me, but I dont feel any need to tell someone, anyone, but especially not someone who is a very good role model, how we think they should dress.

Her Royal Highness, is a confident young woman who dresses under ( I am of course guessing) an immense amount of pressure to not be anything "too much" and she does so beautifully.  Choosing well cut, well made pieces which she has already demonstrated she will (whisper it...) wear again.  This is a great fashion statement, in an environment where we are pressured into buying and buying and buying, because "fashion" and "style" are about being new and current rather than about interesting and defined.  The Duchess of Cambridge is classic and modern.  She wears her clothes incredibly well and shows that it is possible to be "stylish", without being defined by your brands.

The Duchess of Cambridge, will I am sure always be defined by her choices, her baby's name, the choice of school, her sister riding on her tail coat, her parents new found fame, but ultimately, she should be defined by making her own choices, by buying from the high street, because she likes it, not because she was told to.


Comes from many strange places. I had a personal training session at the gym this morning. This was really to set up an exercise plan for me to get started but after a horrendous weekend, it was difficult to get in the mood. The poor PT got the brunt of it. None the less, I now have a pre planned 45 minute session which I should be able to complete twice a week. That's the plan.

I am inspired by the ladies (and gent) over at Where are my knees, to chart my success (trying to be positive) and hopefully have equal amounts of support and positive benefits as a result.

Wish me luck by the bucket load, I'm going to need it.

Saturday, 16 February 2013

Back in the gym...

I went back.... this time for a bit of a medical (known as a MOT, a health special). Joe, my personal trainer who took me through the tests, was the first person since I started my quest to join a gym, who made me feel normal and made enjoy the experience.   I laughed at myself and felt supported by him in ultimatley the lifestyle change I and trying to make.

It feels like gyms dont really want to encourage "non gym goers", like me to go.  Now I feel a lot more supported I am much more likely to go.  I also got myhea, th check score, which although I wasnt expecting a good one, I wasn't expecting such a bad score. 57 out of 100. Eeek, I have somewhere to go, but I am on the right path...

Tuesday, 12 February 2013

Joining a gym...

You would think should be a relatively easy process.  As part of my effort to look after my self more, I have, of entirely my own volition, signed up to 72 pounds of hard effort a month.

Not being a gym person at all, I didn't have many pre requisites but none the less I diligently visited two before deciding which I would join.

My main criteria for comparison where;
. Cleanliness
. Friendliness
. Ratio of normal people!

The first place I visited I was promptly told not to visit the other as they were better, confident/arrogant, you decide!

In essence he was right but only for my reasons. The "sales" person, was cocky and creepy, he made no effort to get my name correct and insisted on asking questions which I felt bore no relevance to ny quest. The changing rooms were shameful and the place was unbelievably expensive.

The alternative I thought as much better, less cockyness (although not none!) Far cleaner and less expensive (although still quite!).

Until that is I turned up to sign the contract, I had (all by my self, with no help), completed a registration form.  Thus firm asked for all the usual stuff. I know how to spell my name. I then had confirmed my intent to join over the phone so less cocky sales man filled in a contract for me. Or as it was a completely fictitious person.

I find it challenging to suppress my astonishment at the stupidity of certain little things in life (I sweat the small stuff. I am trying hard not too). My frustration was clear.


You didn't care about my name, hey that's fine, just fess up and admit it. Don't look at me with utter disgust. I got your name correct.

Staying happy...

Mental health is a interesting thing, different in my ways and destroying in many ways, yet sometimes its the small things that make a difference.
I found this article so simple and yet so helpful.


When my doctor first suggested "pills", to grt me through my depression, I hesitated.  Of all the things I was feeling at the time, my clarity wasnt clouded.  I knew not enough to be able to confidently say these would be more helpful than alternatives.

The main alternative was counselling,  I took it up. I gained massivley from the whole experience.

The mental health page link is great, things we should do every day,  and things we should be aware of with our friends and family.

Monday, 11 February 2013

Today it is snowing..

What you can't see in this picture is the snow. I tried but just couldn't get it. The ground is pretty wet so its not staying around for long!

It looks pretty and the tulips are a nice reminder of spring approaching.

Saturday, 9 February 2013


Yesterday I posted some rather random pictures of my favorite hobbies!  There is something very refreshing about new purchases, but I did promise that this year would be less is more.

I spent almost a year, over two six month periods without work.  During that time I bought nothing as money was so tight and needed for much more important things (food, heating, it snowed a lot that winter!)

Then I got a job, a great job where I was paid pretty well and I spent! And spent and spent!

I like quality, I am not a fan of cheap clothes that fall apart after one wash, I grew upmwith a Grandma who bought pretty much exclusively Jaeger, Daks and Aquascutum.  Clothes she would spend on but wear for years and always look elegant and "together".

This is where my most recent purchases come in, less than half price in the sales but fabulous quality.
I dont splurge on things that I cant afford, all my purchases are paid for up front and I really wrestle with the commercial pressure to buy now, but I am working towards some classic pieces which I will get better at styling.

But I may have to buy the vintage burberry trench in my local store.  Navy blue, it really is a classic.

Friday, 8 February 2013


The good things in life....

Paranoia and happiness

One of the things I have got worse at is being suspicious.  I am paranoid.

Very paranoid.

This I can manage, what I can't manage is the change in reaction and behaviour from those around me.

When I am not feeling my best, I need reaasurance and support. sometimes, this is just a hug.  Sometimes its a shoulder to cry on.

The internal converations are normally worse case senarios.  I realised a long time ago that if I imagined it, it wouldn't happen.
It has never happened. Thats a really good thing.

Sometimes, I wallow. Other times, I have to get up and get on.
That the normally involves shopping.

Thursday, 7 February 2013

Things that make me happy

Some times its the small things in life.

  • Spare time
  • A good coffee
  • A book (or ebook!)


I have always been a little moody.

Behind the moods have been a lot of internal dialogues.  I remember talking to my brother years ago about walking down the road talking to myself.  Actually he started the conversation about him talking to himself.  That may be the only thing we have in common.

I would like people to think of me as people strong and confident.

In reality.  I cry.  A lot.

When the Doctor first talked to me about anti-depressants, I finally realised their was more to me than I knew.  I was 28.

Now I have learnt to dance in the rain.  It's my way of coping.